The Choices We Make / Last Night

I know it's true; If I could just quit observing and act on my yearnings then I could be easily satisfied but it's all to fascinating to my mind.

Watching humanoids on a dance floor mimic is as primal as watching gather around a waterhole.  There are predators and prey. Lions, spiders, and birds of prey. I watched a girl move like nothing I'd ever seen; hypnotizing man after man then leaving them longing for more. I think she's a black widow. 

I watched sleazy guys pick up sleazy gals.

I watched lovers awkwardly make out in the back booths unaware of any bystanders. 

I was suppose to wake and go to Seattle, but when I woke up I couldn't move. 

I woke up to a kitchen and bathroom light still on and back door open.  

There was a beautiful cool breeze and Smoggie Catt had found her way in. 

I was lying sideways in the bed; belt unbuckled and pants unzipped.  

I probably planned to take those off. You sleep better without jeans; that's a fact. 

Unless you're out in the cold of course. But I made it home. 

Not before leaving the club... more like basement at 2:30 and running into Voodoo Doughnuts. Somehow after all that beer and whiskey I ate not one, but 2 Voodoos. 

But I don't remember laying down.  

I met some wonderful folk last night, but the observations were even better. 

I don't know where I'm going with this but I think I'm waking up really early to go to Mt. Hood tomorrow. Actually I'm really sure. This has to happen because I missed Seattle today. I need to go away for a little while.

I have a lot of head thoughts, and trying to write them all out. 

Mostly I just blog a lot, but the grey is returning and all these head thoughts are going into an even greater book. 

I can feel it, but right now these feelings just gotta simmer a little more.

More than anything I'm ready to play some rock n' roll; that's the only reason I left the forest anyhow. 

This sums up last night. It felt so good. It felt so right. Thanks for the invite Jackie. 

Today

Today I made my living room my bedroom and my bedroom my living room.

I still need a couch and coffee table and furniture of substance so basically my "living room" is just the room without little to no furniture. 

Also today I found a cool little night stand thing.  

Also I listened to Destroyer's album Kaputt 3 times, Arcade Fire's Suburbs twice and now I'm listening to the Drive Soundtrack.

I also wrote some words and did some drawing. 

Take Me There

If there's a place beyond the city lights; where the car's hum can't be heard

No airplanes above, only the songs being sung by birds

I want to go there.

That's where I need to be. To see what life was like before humanity.

I don't hate man; sometimes there's just too much noise. 

I love rock n' roll but you don't know music until you've stood face to face with a giant waterfall. 

I just want to escape for a little while to know it can be done.

Just for a little while then I'll return. 

They say " you just want to die". Nothing is further from the truth.

It's this search for freedom that makes me feel alive.  

I need to feel scared; to know something greater still wanders out there. 

Beyond the concrete forest and the man made caves. 

I know I'm not the only one who wonders.

I just need to escape the machines.

To run with the wild if only for a while. 

If there's truly a place beyond the city lights; where the car's hum can't be heard that's where I want to go. 

Quit trying to stop me; this fox isn't dumb. 

Black and White (An Art Piece Of Sorts)

Nothing works out like I think it will

But it does work out

It all feels real

They say a fox in the forest waiting for a meal; is a fox in the forest who ain’t afraid to kill

Yes it’s true you ain’t my first blood

And you probably won’t be my last 

But I ain’t ate meat in weeks and my appetite is growing fast

Stuff and Things

Friday:

Woke up and went to the coast to find my wallet. Over a month later still exactly where I stupidly through it; ID, $20, and all the essentials still safely enclosed. Had a few drinks with friends I don't hang out without very often so that was awesome.

Saturday:  

Signed up to volunteer at Music Fest Northwest. Volunteer for one show and get free access to all the others. You can't beat that. A lot of good bands playing: Deerhunter, The Head and The Heart, Animal Collective, Washed Out, Horse Feathers, Surfer Blood, and a lot of other bands I've HEARD OF but haven't actually HEARD. What better way to hear them though, eh? 

Then I walked around the Alberta Street Fair. There was a ton of awesome art. There was more art at in one place that I wanted than I have seen in one place in a long time. 

Even did some more hiking around Forest Park with Tim and Michelle.  

Sunday:  

I made the coffee for America and have been resting every since. With the exception of washing a few dishes and cooking dinner I haven't left the comfort of my bed. That will continue throughout the night. 

I've begun watching the "Through The Wormhole" series. There's a lot of knowledge in those. Sometimes my head just blanks on what all these scientists are telling me but it's a really well informed, awesome series thus far. I'm only on episode two of season 1; there are 4 seasons. 

Now more of nothingness and watching the moving pictures.  

All The Feels

All the thoughts and feels but alas my body just wants to rest. Storytelling will have to wait for another time.  

Smoggie Catt's birthday is tomorrow. 

I have so many thoughts I'm trying to put into writing but right now it all has to simmer in my head before it can become poetry or storyboarded.  

Goodnight. 

Life

Life is what you make it; make it awesome.

To Those Who Said It Can't Be Done

To those who said it can't be done; hold your tongue.  I'm a little crazy, but I ain't dumb. 

You underestimate the magic of instinct and a fox's power of scent.  

And I got the Zipcar back just in time and with one minute to spare and parallel parked flawlessly.   

Cascadia you are beautiful! I need to travel more of this vicious coast. So rugged and so powerful. I saw so many sites that due to my limited time with Zipcar I couldn't photograph them properly. This adventure was for the primal memory box.  

Wowzers it was beautiful. Grey clouds reaching down to touch the tops of giant trees on the rolling mountainsides tumbling towards the ocean. Aaaah! 

And the wallet still had ID and $20. Guess who's going to get a drink.

Goodnight Interwebs.

Spring Water Corridor and Sellwood

...And then I found the Spring Water Corridor  (40 mile bike loop) and Sellwood but only had an hour until the sun went down.

I went 5 miles deep and saw a wildlife refuge, a cute little creek, all kinds of beautiful flowers, a small amusement park, nature preserve, and all kinds of potential exploration spots without names. 

It's a little industrial on one side but the trail follows the Willamette River and there's some pretty greenery in the distance if you look past the gravel of construction.  

Also Sellwood if I ever make enough money as an artist and don't have to get up super early to make the coffee for America you shall be my home spot. 

I love you Portland, Oregon. I love you so much. I keep finding new adventure spots. I can't wait to see this trail in the Fall! 

No pictures this go round, but I know where I will spending my down time when I want to escape the city noise. 

Friday

It's my Friday. You can find me hiding under the trees. I'll be reading books, drinking coffee, and drawing pictures.  That is all.
 

Still no ID

I still have no ID. I thought I applied for one about 2 weeks ago, but it's starting to look like I payed some random website $14 to send me an email about how to get a new ID; which is kind of shitty.  

I guess the next logical step is to contact Oregon about getting my license here, but I have no way to prove who I am because I have no form of ID. Ayayay... 

Today

Today...

Cleaned up my house. Mostly my closet.

It was becoming a big pile of "stuff to take care of tomorrow..." that actually kept growing for almost 2 weeks.

Had a few drinks with Jackie and Jordyn. Ate bar food aka lots of fried food. It was good but I forgot how much mass amounts of fried stuff fills you up; I'm still full. 

And now I will spend the rest of the night watching SciFi movies; because that's the perfect way to finish this simple and mellow day.  

Goodnight. 

Random Snapshots from Wanderings

Some of them are from the park today; most are from wandering around on Friday. Friday... which I thought was Thursday until about 8pm that evening.

Note To Self

Note to self; drink more water more often.  

Sometimes

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I still want to think I look like Lu Kang.

Head Thought

...and then it occurred to me; I just need some hairspray. Yep...

Today and Tonight and Stuff

Today: I think I will head downtown and find a place to do some wandering and maybe some writing. See what kind of adventures I can happen upon. I have left over coinage from yesterday's laundry an americano from Stumptown sounds lovely. I also have some long overdue letters to write to people. Yes today will be a day of people watching, coffee drinking, and word writing. 

Tonight: It's First Thursday and there are two shows I really want to see. So tonight will be full of going to see art.

Stuff: I love Smoggie Catt. I also love waking up and not rushing to run to the coffee shop to make coffee for the masses. I love my overcast mornings. Waking up about 9am; I can linger about and do my workings on the interwebs and read some news at a casual pace and then around 1pm then be out and about until at least 9 exploring the world around me. I love you Portland, Oregon. Thankful I finally made it here. Sometimes I wonder if I'm still dreaming.

Success!

Success is a dresser full of clean laundry and coinage to spare!  

Head Thought

Life; the magic is in the adjectives.

Wilco

Listening to Wilco.  Cooking jasmine rice and sautéed veggies. Thinking of Jenny and Avani and Blue Moon beers.