hummingbirds

in

okay. if i don’t start typing, i will never get it out.

hummingbirds. i see them all the time now. sitting in my sitting room of my house i hear their chirp. i hear their songs.

i grab my coffee or my smoke and head outside. and again there is a hummingbird friend. on a powerline or at the treetop.

i see more hummingbirds sitting still then i do flying about.

hummingbirds have helped me remember to feel joy. a feeling i am not quick to employ.

joy for my home. joy for my state of mind. joy to be part of such a beautiful planet.

joy in looking up and finding comfort in a small bird that has great strength and mystery.

this brain:

when in doubt i listen to Brian Eno.

musically feeling stagnent as a flie in a spider trap.

i have so much to share and all i can muster is cursive ramblings these days.

the truth is hard to tell and feel okay with it.

the consumer has become more important than the citizen.

compassion has been packaged to make us all stand still.

some are dying to live and others likelly to die.

what else would lure a fox from the forest except song and dance?

i don’t like the distance. i don’t like the lack of facial expressions.

g00d morning

i woke up this morning to the sun shining in the bedroom window, and a resistence to wanna get out of the bed. my shoulders were cold and my feet were warm.

i pulled myself and microwaved yesterday’s leftover french press of coffee. it appears it rained last night. i stayed out until almost midnight trying to watch the moon eclipse and only saw the cloud cover luna over and over again.

i have been contemplating my routines and habits concerning social media and going to work on posting more directly to my personal .com over facebook and whatever other misc .com

i am second cup of coffee into it this morning. Listening to Harlem Shakes, Burning Birthdays EP. A fun, quick little indie EP that reminds me of things good and simple circa 2005.

pshh neh

in

and to the republic and the nonsense inn witch it stands

we know what we know and seek what we do not understand

it’s beyond 33 and into infinity

it’s as simple as obvious and as unknown as the ghosts under our steps

it’s as easy as speaking and as complex as a perfect toast

stand in line to compromise

shout it out or whisper in silence

hemp honor roll

in

It is another bright and cool autumn day in Portland, Oregon. Personally still wishing for more rain and less sunrays.

Either way it is beautiful out there.

I woke up and made a scramble of veggies and eggs for breakfast. 2 cups of coffee in the DNA. I began cleaning the creative space. AGAIN. it’s the most challenging space for my self to hohm in on and where i make music and thus needs to be prioritized again and again.

I had to walk away from that task for a bit so I put away some laundry went for a walk.

I feel after 8 years of living in Portland, Oregon that I am beginning to understand the correct layering of clothing as to feel the cold and not be cold.

And now. I am typing out words. About time to walk into the creative space and move things about some more.

Keep your heads up. Keep on looking out. There’s a lot of magic happening in the wild unknown. Make sure you are a part of it.

-ABC

Happy Birthday From Me To You

My birthday wish would be to be entertaining a live audience this evening. Due to the state of things, that cannot happen at the moment. Instead here is a live set from The Big Legrowlski from earlier this year. January 21st 2020. I know that seems like years ago, but it's barely been 9 months. I hope you'll give it a listen and/or download.

rainy daze

in , ,

the good

the bad

and the hungry

all want the same thing

dignity, atonomy, and community

i am listening to the local jazz station and there is a beautiful song playing

very soulful

the song had… it just ended… the song had clips of Martin Luther King Jr mixed in and i heard him say something i have never heard before.

the words:

“we in america have a unique opportunity in history to have a blood-less revolution…”

there may have been more. that’s what i took note of.

less voilence and more creative protest are a must

leave it and run

in

I saw people running

“leave it!” they yelled to their companion with a tail.

sitting stil and sharing what eye see is difficult.

it wasn’t before.

a lot is an answer.

vague and honest.

rambling is an excercise.

it needs to be done routinely to make it work.

it is entertainment to me. so i endeavor once again to share my experiences on this .com .

what you see is what you get

I have been listening to the album “Mimicking Birds” a lot lately.

There are some absolutely powerful lyrics layered in it.

A.B. Corduroy endorsed.

Ashley Klump and I acquired some animal skeletons yesterday. I’ll post more pictures of those at a later time. I am still learning some of their origins, names, mythologies. Animals tell us lots of secrets if we are willing to listen.

I talk to the crows a lot. Those grumpy ole fucks see a lot. Don’t piss them off. Get to know them. Move along.

I am grateful for where I am in my life. I am grateful for my friend group, my home, my lover, my cat companions, I am grateful for you, whoever you are reading these words.

The more we get together // The happier we will be

Words have a lot of power and decisions hold power.

Give gratitude aloud often. Shift the narrative.

We are people // We are not data

we are not an algorithm

Until the next moment.

Live. Dream. Wander in Between.

Sleepwalk with me.

Look for the symbols. Listen to language. And don’t forget about body language. It is most important.

-ABC

Tuesday 05122020

It can be very difficult for myself to focus long enough to type what’s going through my head to post a simple blog .com update day to day or even a couple times a day.

The truth being I have never had so many thoughts going through my head as I have until the last couple months of existence.

I sit and listen to full conversations and sometimes even talk out full dialoges but so rarely does it make it into a typed bog. I use instagram videos to ramble and I stil carry a notebook/journal to leave my bones.

I still have a full time job making coffee for people. I am still writing. I have sold 28 of the 33 copies of my book “Fragmented Realities (Rambles of a Madman)” and I am very grateful to everyone who has been apart of that process.

I still draw in symbols/zzzwalking a little bit all the time and post those to the instagram almost daily.

My overall goal is stil to focus on my music. There’s a sway to say and a sway to stay things only music can say properly.

a longing for blogging

feet up on the coffee table

rest computer on the legs

head back

breathe in // breathe out

this time not to be distracted by over thinking it

* * *

i’ve been learning from // noticing the bluejays these days

David Bowie has a lyric “just like that blue bird you know I’ll be free” on his last album

I know a lot is uncertain now for many people, families, and machines

Here is the thing I believe in my reality and I encourage you to co create accordingly

i believe for several decades we have been going and going // more and more // without totems // without a source

this paradigm shift // the apocalypse // whatever you // i // we need to call it

i can understand and feel everyone’s uncertainty for dollars

i encourage all of us to think within // remember your self

when we all start working again

it will not be the same as before // what is it your self longs to do // that enables a healthy existence

and gives back to the greater consciousness

while societies are on hold and economies are being challenged to redirect

the planet is seeing a great recess

a much needed breath

these events challenge us of organic material with stars in our eyes

if we take time to take time // we can discover new solutions with less stress for every being // in every realm

-ABC

Fragmented Realities (Rambles of a Madman)

in , ,

I have been working on making this “poetry” book a reality for almost 4 years now.

I began writing the words and drawing the images between 2016 and 2017 during a very dark and yet enlightening moment of my life. There is a lot to be learned from darkness. There is a lot to learn from the light. It takes all of it to make us a whole.

I believe it is the bridge between the zzzmoments I draw almost constantly and the songs I sing out at rock n roll shows. There is a bridge between symblols and words/language and it is a magical realm to wander into.

I printed 33 copies because I find 33 a magical number and I am 33 years old at the moment.

I am selling them for $30 each and as of this blog post 7 copies have found homes. Limited originals from the book are also available for $50 to anyone interested. (I will post more on that later.)

If you are interested in a copy they will be available when I will be singing and making noise this Friday at No Fun Bar (9pm) and this Sunday at Ranger Station (7pm).

If you do not live in town, comment below, send me an email, reach out to me on social media and we’ll make it work.

I will eventually be selling the books and the original art from the “Fragmented Realities” via my interweb store.

Truthfully it’s been so long since I utilized the .com store that I am in the midst of working out some kinks/links to make it work properly.

I am excited this story. I am excited to play a couple shows this weekend!!

i love entertaining! i love singing! i love creating!

There are many words that I would to say right now.

I need close up this blog post because I need a shower. I need to clean up home. My friend Cody Trespalacios that I have known since 3rd grade is coming to town tomorrow. It will be his first time in Oregon.

Okay my legs are bouncing and it’s hard to focus so it’s time to brew more coffee and shower.

Talk to you soonly fellow earthlings!

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coffee is good. rock n roll is better.

in ,

i cleaned up a whole lot. deep scrubbing in the kitchen and all. enough so that it smelt like bleach.

it’s been a sunny day. it’s still very chilly but that’s okay.

i had an americano from the rocking frog and sat on the front porch in a sun spot and read more of the Janis Joplin biography that I started last week. Thank you for the coffee Nol!

I started a french press at home. I practiced my restraint. I did not drink the whole thing.

The last time I finished the press I was too hyped up to finish any sensible task.

I got my synth set up and started jamming a little bit. I find it easier to be creative when my space is organized.

I have two shows coming up!

Friday, February 28th, at No Fun Bar

Sunday, March 1st, at Ranger Station

I have some exciting news to share about the upcoming shows and I will do so when I have photos to go along with those words.

I am grateful for opportunities coming up to share my rock n roll songs. I am working to play more than i have ever before this year. I hope you’ll be a part of it.

-ABC

if you saw the look on their faces you'd know when to look away

in

green chair

deerhunter on the radio player // album: cryptograms

woke up at 9:30am // stepped out for a smoke and check the mail

i had a valentine’s day card from Ashley’s parents

unexpected and fuzzy feels. thank you Craig and Kristie.

Fell back into sleep realm and woke up at 4:30pm

wandered down to find coffee at Bare Bones

helped Ashley vacuum out FDAK

And Now: Deerhunter on the radio player // album: cryptograms

spontaneous cleaning tasks intertwined with creative spurts and now computer words

be blessed. be free. be aware. be.

-ABC

the box and the cat

the metaphor of the cat and the box

content with the box

scratches at the box

lies in the box

at peace with the box she tore away at the walls and the flooring and lied down and slept in the box

at peace with the box

pitter patter // this is the end

i know why i am here

and somehow/somewhere along the way i gave into a fear

i have spent the last 3 hours listening/watching to live performances by Janis Joplin and The Doors

it screeches and it moans

it rambles and it spits

it is reflective. it is somber.

I am here to sing rock n roll songs

i am here to share my faults and anguish

through music. through song. through words and parables.

there is a pushing back from the ether when we find that one thing that can really fuck with the all of it

for me that is making time for routinely entertaining

for myself first and then with community

from one space to the next

time after time

i am not afraid

i can’t keep this Janis stardust in anymore

02.05.2020A

there are fragments and tangents

and all kinds of white rabbits

elephants so big they’ll fill our living room and the dining room too

there’s a metaphor in every action

a poem in the form of a crow carrying two peanuts across the road

a lullaby in the M83 album playing in the background

compelling me to wake up and wash last night’s dinner utensils

there magic in a cup of coffee

it gets me talking

it gets me walking

it gets my head thoughts wondering

there is magic in a cup of coffee